and I have been in such a "funk". The inconsistencies of this process caught up with me last week. If you remember, my agency had told me that they felt like we would be OUT of PGN the week of February 5. Well, then on Wednesday they said it would probably be the week of February 26. They added three weeks to my waiting time and acted like it wasn't a big deal at all. They made comments like "your case is progressing at a normal pace" and "you just have to be patient". Well I told Philip that he had better NEVER make those two comments to me again! I'm over this misinformation that they have been giving me. Zachary will be 9 months old next week and I want him home. It's ridiculous!! It's torture!! I fell in to this depression lull on Thursday and it hit me hard for two days. It was even hard to go to work. I couldn't concentrate and I was very quiet all day. ANYONE that knows me knows that I am NEVER quiet. Last night, I was SO sad and down that I went to the grocery store after work and bought a pints of ice cream. One was Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chunk Peanut Butter Ice Cream and the other was Cherry Jubilee (at least this one was low fat). Ok, so they are both GONE now!!! I do feel better emotionally but kind of miserable physically. I need to work out but that didn't happen today either. I will definitely be doing that tomorrow.
Today I did manage to get a lot accomplished. I got up early and went to WalMart to get my oil changed and tires rotated. Would you believe they said that it would take THREE hours?!?! I was lucky enough to have a friend pick me up and take me home while they were doing this work. She even took me back to pick my car up. Thank you Pat!! After I picked my car up I ran some errands and then came home and took a really long nap!
Tonight I plan to work on scrapbooks and Valentine's cards. I also need to clean house. Let's hope I will get off of this couch!!
I will post more later.
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1 comment:
Rebecca,
I really do not know what to say to you other than I'VE BEEN THERE! Today was a pretty good day, but that was only because we have some really great friends who kept us busy all weekend. I am so sorry that you are feeling so low! I hope just knowing that there are other moms who feel the EXACT same way you do will bring you some comfort. Even hearing that God is in control doesn't always help at the moment. And besides, you know that already. Don't feel bad about being down and depressed. Those days are going to come and they are normal--my prayer (for both of us) is just that they do not hang around for very long. I hope that the good days out number the bad. Or at least "ok" days--the good days will come when our babies are home!
I am praying for you specifically tonight!
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